It seems, when all is going well, there is still that stumbling block. That one sin that I struggle with, that will just not go away, however hard I try. Perhaps I am the only one who cannot fathom why, if we are free from sin, it isn’t easier to get rid of what I know to be bad, rotting away, eating away at me from the inside. When all seemed to be going so well, but suddenly, my self-worth has collapsed, my heart is burdened and I just cannot see the light that was shining so brightly yesterday. When I had no worries, no cares, and all of a sudden, that has disappeared – again.
I was thinking about what I have learned in this wonderful place, what I will be taking with me. The realisation that I have a choice in every situation doesn’t seem so bright anymore. How can I choose to be happy, if my heart is heavy? When I look to tomorrow and see loneliness and fear?
My philosophy had shifted to embracing each moment as they come, seeing the gold in each situation, making an opportunity out of each struggle. Maybe I need to listen to myself more!
I read a proverb yesterday:
A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:13)
I thought it was merely an observation – something that just is, until I came across this other proverb:
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17:22)
Which implies that it is our duty to seek happiness, because God created happiness as a remedy.
So, what have I learned? “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1). BUT “If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgement and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.” (Hebrews 10:26). It is important to not let sin weigh us down; and at the same time, we are called to live holy and pure lives, free of sin in order to imitate Christ and bring us closer to Him (1 Peter 1:14-16).
I realise that what I need to hold onto is this: “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13). I can overcome sin, through him who gives me strength. I can be PATIENT, through him who gives me strength. I can be HAPPY, through him who gives me strength. I can be ME, through him who gives me strength.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8).