It seemed to me that this year ended peacefully. In the past days, people had been looking back to 2012, there were exclamations of shock at how quickly the year had gone by, and a sense of wonder as to how just one year could be filled with so many highs and so many lows at the same time. We raised our glasses to a better year ahead. There was certainly a calm about entering the new year, as if there had been just about enough hype – the Olympics, the Queen’s Jubilee, the proud feeling that being British brought to all who were not afraid to join in.
It was as if 2012 had been a particularly difficult year for us all as individuals and as a society as a whole in so many different ways. And I sat on a step outside and cried – it had been exactly a year that night. But I was glad to be in such good company. I wasn’t alone. Surrounded by love and laughter, I knew I could grow in strength. I knew that the moment I made my mind up, there would be endless possibilities.
I made my mind up a while back. It wasn’t an easy decision. No one likes change, least of all when we have to bring it about ourselves. The trick is to follow the right path, the one that has your name on it. If it’s right, the right people will be there for you at the right time. There’s no point waiting for those who will never understand your attempts at explaining what the world looks like through your shattered heart. There’s no point waiting for something that’s only a dream. To live your dream means to accept that the dream can change, but it will still be yours, no one else’s.
I am as God made me, and who am I to change that? Who am I to dislike the things within me that make me feel weak? He promised me that in my weakness He would be my strength, and that I can do all things through Him.
“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9
“I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13
Last year started terribly. There are scars that have made me humble. And stronger. This year I am not going to be ashamed of who I am. I am with Christ in-dwelling. And that is something I cannot be ashamed of!
Happy New Year.