Resolution Reflections

November draws closer and I realise I’ve missed out massive chunks of my little list 2014.

So, quick review of the state of things according to this list.

1.) Draw Closer to God.
In the past 9-10 months, drawing closer to God has been a bit like a tag game. I’ve drawn closer and drifted away – back and forth, back and forth. But I’ve come to understand that this is not a game, but a wonderful dance that He Himself created (a future blogpost I am currently working on). To sum it up, I conclude that our wrestles with God can only bring out the best in us because they bring out the worst in us, thus presenting us with what we need to change and work on. And if it weren’t a struggle, we would have nothing to fight for and show we truly desire Him.

2.) Read More Books.
When we truly want to find, we will seek with all our heart and in every place. But I have been somewhat less enthusiastic in recent weeks about reading. I guess even the internet itself is too distracting to reap its benefits of information at our fingertips. Which leads me onto my next point.

3.) Spend Less Time on Facebook.
I resigned, for a while, my title on this desirable site. And when I returned, it was like that weight had been placed on my shoulders all over again. People’s thoughts really don’t matter as much as we think they do, yet there is an iron grip that overshadows any other endeavor when it comes to ‘social media’. If anything, I’d at least like to think that I am beginning to see this ‘platform’ as a room full of real people who are just as broken as me. And if that’s anything like the real world, our Christian purpose should be to give rather than to take. A little encouragement here, a little light there. Al little bit at a time!

4.) Blog More.
Maybe blogging would be easier if I focused more on less. Too many thoughts, not particularly organised.

5.) Be More Organised.
It’s easy to be more organised with less stuff in the way – both material and emotional. At least this year has been good in the way of clearing things out somewhat. A bit like weeding, it needs constant attention to keep on top of it, but it is so worth it if we want the time and energy to spare to be of any use to anyone in this world.

6.) Be More Encouraging
Recent weeks have led me to really push for what I want – and I realise that what I want most in this world is to live out my purpose; to live for God and to give myself up for others. It starts with the little things – with the self. What kind of soul would I like to see in me if I were the person standing across from me? And what does that person standing across from me need the most?

7.) Cook More and Live Healthier
Loving this autumn’s cooking – pumpkins make for adventurous recipes and practice makes perfect!

8.) Write About What Fascinated Me in a Week
See Number 4.

9.) Complete a Love-Project
What is even a Love-Project? Soooo many ideas on this one. Watch this space!

10.) Seek Inspiration
Seeking inspiration would probably require me to open my eyes more. I’m sure there’s loads I could write on this. Again, watch this space!

11.) Make More Music
My heart has been a bit too clogged up to be making music lately. Every time I have listened to music, in particular Christian music, I have wondered at the sincerity behind the words, and I have been aware of our hypocrisy. But I’m learning that the whole wonder of Christianity is that we can come to God just as we are. Hypocrisy is a sin as any other, and yet God promises to accept our repentant hearts. It is through our relationships with those around us and with God that our sins become clear, and equally, it is through these relationships that we are freed from those sins – not in the flick of a wand but in the lifetime of a loving relationship.

12.) Be More Courageous
If I am in anyway courageous, I will at least attempt every one of the points above. I’m hopeful that, if my courage is worth anything, I will return to everything that is meaningful in the eyes of God again and again, year after year. For I know that courage does not exist in the knowledge of achieving, but in the knowledge of failing and falling, and continuing nonetheless.

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