Today has been one of those days that weigh down heavily. Everything just seemed so pointless and I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything, which resulted in feelings of guilt and annoyance.
My happiness planner had good advice for me, and I managed to get myself out and walked around the city for a bit, doing some errands and then getting a hot chocolate in Costa and sitting, wishing I could enjoy the being a bit more. It’s hard when physical pain and negative thoughts perpetuate themselves.
As I walked back home, the sky was grey and I was tired. The hill was steep but I’d left the busy road with its shops and endless cars behind me. Ahead was a woody path through tall stretching trees. To the left, I saw two squirrels moving. One of them scuttled across the path and into the opposite group of trees. The other froze as I approached. I stopped and watched, and as it grew familiar with my presence, I moved forward slowly. As I focused on the squirrel and its beautiful fur and cute little mannerisms, I became aware of the birds above me and their sweet song, the fresh air and the stillness that could only be found out here.
It was just a brief part of my walk home, but I stayed a few minutes longer and lingered, taking it all in and making a mental note to remember this moment well.
It’s not been a great day, for no particular reason other than a lack of enthusiasm for life and worry for what tomorrow holds. But this little pocket gave me a moment to reflect. God was there, watching over His creation. He was there in the stillness of the trees, even as the roar of the day was barely half a mile away. And my day was made slightly better because of this, and reminding myself of the three components to happiness:
- I have something to do – mainly studying, but also the million other things that bring me joy; TV, books, writing, dreaming.
- I have someone to love – not just my lovely husband, but the many people around me who wish me well, who have lived through each stage of life with me, those who I speak to regularly and those who I am no longer close to.
- I have something to look forward to – the dream of opening up my bedroom window to birdsong and trees.
When things look bleak, seek God. When worry and anxiety are so prominent, ‘giving it to God’ can feel impossible. When God is ‘just’ an invisible spirit, we can become disconnected to His power and grace.
But He doesn’t want us to seek Him in prayer alone.
He wants us to ‘fix [His] words in [our] hearts and minds’ – Deuteronomy 11:18.
He wants us to experience His glory in all His creation – Psalm 19:1; Psalm 34:8.
He wants us to experience His righteousness by living it out – Proverbs 21:3.
It’s not been a great day, but it’s slightly easier with God in my living.